


start line (back to the beginning)

by stilljunhui (acyria)



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Feels, Getting Back Together, Kinda, M/M, Pining, Road Trips, Romance, but you still have to go through the angst, i rarely have that tag up but when i do it's over for ya'll, just kidding, obviously i only want the best for these two, oh and, there's background hyunin and changlix if you squint but they're not the stars here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-21
Updated: 2019-05-21
Packaged: 2020-03-09 08:24:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,630
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18913189
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/acyria/pseuds/stilljunhui
Summary: He tried to tell himself that it was normal to still find the other boy handsome. He had been in love with Minho for three years, maybe more if you count the weeks before they got together, and even the weeks that followed their breakup. He was beginning to think he'll always be at least a little bit in love with the older boy, when their eyes met again that night, Minho finally noticing that he was there. The dark-haired boy’s eyes were always so easy to read.There was a hint of sadness in them when he asked, "why did we break up again, Jisung?"





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**Author's Note:**

> i... wanted minsung and angst for some reason?? i just wanted to write something like this and minsung won the poll altho i lowkey wanted them to win from the beginning woops.
> 
> this whole fic in general is very close to my heart and was inspired by certain ~things~ and getting it out my system and into writing actually made me feel a lot better, too. it made my heart ache with memory and i had to pause a lot of times to actually take in what i was writing but at the end of the day, i'm satisfied, honestly. 
> 
> this has blue-haired!jisung BECAUSE I CAN !!!
> 
> (also, spoiler alert? this fic contains spoilers for the movie Letters to Juliet, I guess. ya'll should really watch the movie if you haven't yet tho!)

“Why did you think inviting your ex to our road trip was a good idea again?”

  


“He’s not _just_ my ex,” Jisung replied without missing a beat, almost as if he’s been waiting for Hyunjin to ask that exact question all day. He continued to aimlessly shove clothes into his carrier, silently ticking off the mental list he had of what he’s already packed. There was a pause before he returned to his closet in search of something in particular. “We were all friends with Minho before we got together, anyway. Plus, we’re still friends even after the breakup.”

  


“Friends,” the brunette repeated, rolling his eyes as he handed the other boy a pair of socks, which seemed to be what Jisung was missing since the latter beamed and said thanks. Hyunjin took a seat next to his friend’s carrier, just to make sure he was always in Jisung’s line of sight, before he continued. “Don’t you think you’re more exes than friends at this point? Jisung, you can fool anybody but me, so what’s the real reason?”

  


Another pause, this time longer than before.

  


“Closure?”

  


Hyunjin snorted, “that’s bullshit and you know it.”

  


He did know, but Jisung chose to ignore the fact regardless. Honestly speaking, he wasn’t sure what persuaded him to suddenly invite Minho along on their trip; especially because despite being _friends_ , they don’t really talk anymore. Maybe it was because Minho had been around during every other road trip their group of friends had been on so far, so it just made sense to still invite him despite no longer being Jisung’s boyfriend. 

  


Besides, the older boy didn’t say no, so maybe it was just him overthinking things.

  


“It’s just a friendly road trip,” Jisung said, more for himself than for Hyunjin as he packed the last of his checklist into his bag. “I’m sure the other guys don’t mind Minho being with us, I mean, he gets along with everybody else.”

  


“I have nothing against Minho,” Hyunjin said quickly; it was true, especially since he was the one who introduced Minho to everybody else to begin with, having met the older boy in dance club once and instantly realizing he would make a great addition to their ragtag group of friends. He just didn’t expect his best friend to fall for the guy, end up in a three year relationship, and then break it off like everything was fine and dandy when things clearly weren’t. 

  


With worry laced in his voice, he continued, “I just don’t want this trip to open up old wounds, that’s all.”

  


“It won’t,” the blue-haired boy said firmly just as he shut the top of his luggage down.

  


Han Jisung was pretty sure he could do this. What was so hard about being in his ex-boyfriend’s presence for three days and two nights? He meant what he said when he told Hyunjin that they had agreed to be friends. It was a clean breakup with no strings attached and no hard feelings. They had made sure of that, even if Jisung was pretty sure he heard Minho sniffling over the phone when it happened, but he tried his best to erase that part of his memory.

  


They stopped talking every day, but sometimes, Jisung would see a funny meme on the internet and still automatically send it to the older boy, who would always reply with his favourite laughing cat sticker.

  


It came as a bit of a shock to him when Minho had easily agreed to the road trip, even going as far as volunteering to pick Jisung, Hyunjin, and even Jeongin up on the way there. The rest of their friends were going to ride with either Chan or Changbin instead; Seungmin had joked about not wanting to get caught up in the awkward atmosphere their car was bound to have, which caused Jisung to argue back that it _wasn’t_ going to be awkward. His friends were overreacting. 

  


The next day, bright and early, Minho pulled up along Jisung’s driveway. 

  


“Good morning!” The older boy chirped happily, being the only morning person among them. He already had a sleeping Jeongin in his car, whom Hyunjin happily sat next to as carefully as possible to avoid waking the younger boy up. That also meant he did nothing to help load the bags into the back of the car, leaving the task to Jisung and Minho instead. Jisung was going to get his best friend for that sooner or later, but he couldn’t exactly focus on a revenge plan.

  


The last time he’s seen Minho was five whole months ago, during the graduation celebration party he shared with the rest of his batchmates. Felix had been the one who invited Minho, momentarily forgetting that they just recently broke up. The freckle-faced boy apologized to Jisung multiple times that night, which the latter easily waved off. They were all still allowed to be friends, he told Felix, same as he told Hyunjin. He would prefer it that way, actually.

  


There wasn’t much that changed about the older boy. His hair, maybe, which was now a raven black compared to his previous chocolate brown, nothing too big, but it was still a new look. Then again, Jisung himself had decided to colour his hair a shocking dark blue, but that also came with Hyunjin posting multiple photos of him up which Minho had definitely seen, so it wasn’t much of a surprise. 

  


“Are we staying in Changbin’s rest house again?” 

  


“What?” The question registered in Jisung’s mind late as he shoved the last of Hyunjin’s bags into the car. “Oh, yeah. We always stay there when we’re in Daegu.”

  


“So it’s free and we get good food, right?” Minho recalled with a short laugh.

  


He wasn’t going to let the trip open up old wounds, Jisung repeated to himself. He really wasn’t, but he couldn’t help but feel a bit nostalgic upon hearing the other boy laugh. How many times had he said that Minho’s laugh was probably his favourite sound in the world? He’s mentioned it in cheesy letters and during the freestyle rap battles he would have with Changbin, where the topic was about love and Jisung knew he was more than inspired.

  


For a second, he wondered if Minho still kept his letters.

  


Jisung pushed the thoughts out of his mind as he got into the car. Riding shotgun meant he had to ride next to Minho, which wasn’t awkward at all, of course. Even if it reminded him of late night drives around the city, going for take-out at ungodly hours just because he couldn’t sleep because of his projects and Minho couldn’t sleep without knowing Jisung was doing fine. Memories of all the times he’s watched the older boy’s car pull up from his apartment window before he quickly raced down flooded his head. 

  


Closure, he had told Hyunjin, even if they both knew it was a lie. Closure was supposed to have happened just right after they broke up, where they talked about their problems and apologized for things they lacked. Closure was when they agreed to still be friends, claiming that it would be a shame to lose the other person, even if they knew friendship wouldn’t happen right away. They would try, at least, not to make things awkward. 

  


Maybe Jisung invited Minho to the road trip as a test of his will; a test of whether or not they’ve really got this whole friendship thing down. 

  


He told himself he’s gotten over Lee Minho and his dazzling eyes and charming smile long ago.

  


“Jisung?” The older boy’s soft voice filled the silence of the car; no music was playing only because Jeongin was still asleep and Hyunjin had kicked the back of Jisung’s seat when the latter tried to turn the radio on. It nearly made the blue-haired boy jump, but he kept his composure as he turned to Minho. “Do you mind navigating for me? It’s been a while since I last drove to Daegu and all.”

  


“No problem,” Jisung replied, reaching for Minho’s phone. 

  


He didn’t even need to think twice before inputting the password and heading to the GPS application, something he’s done way too many times to count. Everybody knew that Minho’s sense of direction wasn’t exactly the best despite having gotten his license already. More than once, they’ve gotten lost on the way to a date location just because the older boy was adamant that he wanted to surprise Jisung with where they were going.

  


The younger boy was quietly searching up the Seo family rest house address when he realized Minho’s password hasn’t changed.

  


0914\. 

  


Why was it still his birthday? Something in Jisung’s chest ached at the thought, but he quickly brushed it off and placed the phone on its pedestal by the car radio so Minho could see where to turn. The older boy still needed Jisung to double-check that he was going the right way every now then, but for the most part, the car ride was held in silence. Somewhere along the way, Hyunjin had also fallen asleep with his head on Jeongin’s shoulder. 

  


Which only struck Jisung as _unfair_ about an hour into the road trip.

  


“Enough sleeping, guys!” He announced loudly, turning to the backseat and whacking Hyunjin’s knee, which was the closest of them he could reach. The latter groaned, but lifted his head up regardless, while the younger boy next to him also began to stir. “This is supposed to be a fun car ride. Don’t be losers. Also, it’s rude to be asleep while Minho’s driving.”

  


“I think it’s fine,” the older boy piped in cheerfully. “It means they trust me.”

  


“Or it means they want death and couldn’t care less,” Jisung replied with a scoff, although he knew more than anyone that Minho was the most careful driver in their group of friends. Regardless, he began to shake Hyunjin’s leg again until the other boy groggily said that he was already awake, kicking Jisung’s hand away from him in protest. A few minutes later, both him and Jeongin were sitting up, rubbing the sleep out of their eyes.

  


“Oh, we picked you guys up already,” Jeongin said when he glanced around.

  


“Glad to see you have eyes, Innie.”

  


Hyunjin kicked the back of Jisung’s carseat again, “don’t bully him.”

  


“Stop bullying _me,”_ he tried to hit Hyunjin’s leg again, but the other boy had moved too far from his reach and closer to Jeongin’s space behind Minho’s seat. Jisung would have risked his life and stretched further if they weren’t entering the freeway, which meant he had to be a good boy who wore his seatbelt on the rode to prevent further accidents. So instead, he sat properly and finally turned the radio on, blasting it loudly.

  


As he drove, Minho was fumbling for something in the cup holder next to him.

  


“What are you looking for?” Jisung asked.

  


“My AUX cord.”

  


“You keep it in the glove compartment, don’t you?” The younger boy asked without really thinking about it, already knowing he was right when he opened the compartment in front of him. With a pleased smile on his face, he pulled it out and was going to hand it to Minho, but the older boy waved it off. It took a few seconds before Jisung realized that he was being asked to choose the music. 

  


“Really?” Jisung asked, peering at the other boy, whose eyes were firmly glued to the road. “Don’t you have driving playlists in your phone that you like?”

  


The question was out his mouth before he could think twice, familiar despite how long it’s been since he last asked the same thing, something that happened pretty much every time Minho would insist he play music. He didn’t need to look behind him to know that Hyunjin was giving him a _look_. The other boy had been the thirdwheel on more than a few dates so he knew more than enough about Minho’s carefully crafted playlists.

  


“I need my phone for navigation,” the dark-haired boy replied simply.

  


Right, his phone was still giving out directions in front of them. 

  


“Alright then,” Jisung agreed, feeling awkward for the way he felt like he was falling back into his old routine as Minho’s music producer boyfriend all over again. He plugged the AUX cord into his own phone and settled for a TWICE playlist, something that instantly made Hyunjin and Jeongin wake up further as they all began to sing along. The blue-haired boy made sure his voice was the loudest, hitting all the right notes just because he can.

  


Two more hours pass just like that and soon, they were entering the subdivision of Changbin’s Daegu rest house. 

  


“Finally,” Hyunjin whined. “I need water from all that singing.”

  


“Same,” the younger boy next to him agreed.

  


With the way Chan drove, it was no surprise that he arrived there before them despite living farther away. He had Woojin and Seungmin with him, who immediately began to complain that they almost died multiple times on the road when the other boys piled into the living room with their bags. Changbin, the actual owner of the house, was nowhere to be found, but his passenger Felix was among those sitting on the sofa.

  


Minho let out a low whistle as he entered behind the others, “I almost forgot about that large chandelier.”

  


“Really?” Jisung turned to him with a grin. “We never let Changbin forget about _the_ chandelier.” 

  


When the older boy laughed, he tried to ignore the way his heart still reacted to the sound.

  


At least it was a lot easier ignoring the fact that Minho was around when they were in the presence of everybody else. 

  


Things fell into routine soon after everybody arrived, it seemed. Jisung watched at Minho and Hyunjin got roped into helping in the kitchen by Changbin, who appeared out of nowhere announcing that they had to cook their own steaks that night since he didn’t bring their family chef with him. While they got busy, Jeongin raced for the gaming room and had Seungmin hot at his heels.

  


Felix gave Jisung a friendly pat on the back as the two followed the rest to the game room, hearing the youngest already yelling in the distance, “how have you been?”

  


“Good. You?” He tried to recall what the other boy had last been doing. “You’re finally going down the medicine route, right?”

  


“Yeah,” Felix huffs out a deep laugh. “Ready for death, but at least I’ll be a doctor.”

  


Routine with the rest of the boys was easy. They’ve been to Daegu more than a few times in the past years, all nine of them, although it was the first time they decided to go after graduating from university. Well, Jeongin was still studying, but he was the only one left. Jisung tried not to think about the fact that it was also his first time going to Daegu with Minho around since they broke up. They’ve been there twice back when they were still together. 

  


It was easy enough, if he focused on beating Seungmin in Smash Brothers. Chan and Woojin had left to get drinks from a nearby store; the steaks were still being cooked in the kitchen, although Hyunjin had escaped at some point to join them in playing. Thankfully, Minho stayed in the kitchen. If they were still together, Jisung would have easily left the rest to hang around the kitchen, pouting around the older boy to try and get food before everybody else.

  


But they weren’t together, so he remained in the game room until they were called down for dinner.

  


For some reason, they developed a seating arrangement from all the times they’ve eaten together. Unfortunately, it was another thing that was created during the times Jisung still complained when anybody else sat next to Minho, so he found himself sitting next to the dark-haired boy again that night. At least it happened naturally, with nobody thinking twice about seeing them next to each other.

  


Maybe he should have been slightly confused about that last part, but Jisung shoved that into a dark corner of his mind, too.

  


“We love our bread, we love our butter,” Chan began to say before they ate.

  


Everybody else chimed in, “but most of all, we love each other!”

  


Trips to Changbin’s rest house were always one of Jisung’s favourite things about being friends with such a wild group of people. There was never a dull moment with everybody around. He watched with a perpetual grin on his face at the way everybody was digging in, clowning each other here and there, and most of all, still including Minho in their little mess. It went without saying that the older boy really had become a fundamental part of their group over the years.

  


It shouldn’t matter that they were exes because at the end of the day, Jisung can proudly say they were friends first. That was probably what made them last so long as well; beneath all the sweet, romantic gestures, they still bickered like rivals at times and treated each other the same way Jisung would treat Hyunjin sometimes, especially considering how he lived with his best friend and they were practically connected by the hip.

  


“You’re telling me you guys aren’t together yet?” Seungmin asked loudly, gesturing towards Changbin and Felix with a piece of chicken in his hand. “You’re kidding me.”

  


“Well, after the last relationship within our group, do you really think that’s a good idea?” Changbin said jokingly without thinking twice, glancing at Jisung, who looked momentarily stunned. A look of realization passed over the older boy’s face, but before he could stutter out an apology, Minho was laughing from the other end of the table. The sound was crisp and clear, as his laugh always was, but it managed to snap Jisung out of his daze.

  


The blue-haired boy grinned in a way that he hoped looked as cocky as he wanted it to be, “at least we had the guts to get together, you wimp.”

  


“Hey! I’m still older than you, brat,” Changbin shot back, looking relieved that they were taking his little quip well. Next to him, Felix was blushing at the topic, but said nothing.

  


Jisung glanced at the older boy next to him with the same, practiced smile on his face, ready to comment again that they were at least a pretty good couple while they lasted. The comment died on the tip of his tongue when he noticed that Minho was already staring at him, a certain look on his features that Jisung couldn’t quite place because the other boy quickly looked away after getting caught. He thought about his comment again—they _were_ pretty good while they lasted, right?

  


The moment passed before he could bring it up further.

  


By the end of the night, they’re all settled in the theatre room with blankets and pillows strewn all over the floor. It was another integral part of their trips to have movie nights, mostly being horror despite Felix’s loud complaints. He tried roping Jeongin and Hyunjin into voting against horror movies with him, but they were still beaten by the older boys. Jisung didn’t particularly care about what movie they watched, he just enjoyed being with everybody. 

  


“Are we really watching another horror movie?” Felix was already in the middle of whining as they fixed up the bowls of popcorn, despite having just eaten steak for dinner. “I think we can try something Hyunjin chooses tonight.”

  


“Hyunjin?” Woojin asked with a laugh. “It’ll be a sappy romance movie for sure.”

  


“At least nobody dies,” Hyunjin shot back with a shrug. 

  


“Unless we watch a _sad_ romance movie.”

  


Everybody turned towards Jisung, who was wiggling his eyebrows as he suggested the movie decision. In the end, everybody rejected the idea of a sad romance movie, but they still choose something romantic. _Letters to Juliet_ proved to be the crowd favourite as nobody complained when Chan was finally the one who slotted the CD into the player. Nobody questioned why Changbin even had the movie to begin with, either. 

  


Somehow, Jisung found himself sitting next to Minho again, almost as if they just gravitate towards each other.

  


Things were turning more awkward than he would have liked. Normally, the younger boy loved movie nights because it meant getting to cuddle next to Minho without any of the other boys complaining about public displays of affection. Jisung never felt more stiff in his life as they sat next to each other, just enough space between them to be deemed alright. They were friends and friends could sit with their arms touching, right?

  


Right. That wasn’t happening.

  


Unable to handle it, Jisung got up from his spot next to Minho and found an armchair to occupy instead.

  


He tried to ignore the way he could feel the older boy’s eyes on him as he sat down.

  


With the lights turned off and the movie playing, it was easy. With the way Hyunjin squealed during cute scenes, and the way Seungmin would promptly tell the other boy to shut up, making everybody else laugh at them, it was easy. What made it hard was the way each romantic scene only made Jisung’s hopeless romantic little heart react, wishing he was the one who had the joy of finding someone he loved. 

  


He glanced at Minho during the movie once, by accident, and found the older boy staring back.

  


Instead of immediately looking away, the dark-haired boy smiled a small, wistful smile. Minho motioned his head towards the direction of the door, mouthing _can we go outside?_ before he got up from his spot on the floor without waiting for Jisung’s reply. For a split second, the younger boy was about to follow, but realized that the others would notice if he left after Minho just like that. So he waited until a little more, noticed how Woojin was already nodding off on his side of the sofa, and deemed it was alright to head out.

  


Jisung doesn’t see the other boy immediately when he left the room, so he wandered around the floor before reaching the balcony. He had expected Minho to be there and he wasn’t wrong; the older boy once mentioned how he loved Changbin’s rest house particularly because it rested on top of a hill, which meant they were closer to the sky than they would have been back in the city. The stars were shining brightly outside on such a clear night. 

  


The older boy hadn’t noticed his presence yet, so Jisung allowed himself to stare.

  


He tried to tell himself that it was normal to still find the other boy handsome. He had been in love with Minho for three years, maybe more if you count the weeks before they got together, and even the weeks that followed their breakup. He was beginning to think he'll always be at least a little bit in love with the older boy, when their eyes met again that night, Minho finally noticing that he was there. The dark-haired boy’s eyes were always so easy to read. 

  


There was a hint of sadness in them when he asked, "why did we break up again, Jisung?"

  


“Because we fought,” the younger boy found himself saying, everything coming out quickly as if it was overflowing out of him, unable to stop. He stayed rooted on his spot by the balcony door, fighting the urge to be closer to Minho. “We fought a lot, didn’t we? Always different opinions, always different wants and needs. Things never matched with our schedule when you graduated, we saw each other less and I—I had a hard time. We both did, didn’t we?”

  


Silence filled the air for a few seconds before Minho sighed.

  


“Yeah, yeah we did.”

  


“You don’t think so?” Jisung quickly caught on, judging by the way the older boy looked away from him again. He finally allowed himself to head out to the balcony himself, resting an arm’s length away from the other boy, with both of them leaning against the railing. From where they stood, they were almost directly underneath the bright moonlight. It illuminated Minho’s features quite nicely. 

  


The dark-haired boy hesitated before shaking his head, “I know it was hard for you.”

  


“Just for me?”

  


“I don’t think I ever had a hard time with you,” Minho replied softly, truthfully, as his eyes looked up to the stars, pointedly looking away from the younger boy as he spoke. He smiled the same wistful smile as earlier that night as a small chuckle escaped his lips, “I didn’t think I would be admitting this out loud, but I wish I had been better, Jisung. I know it was mostly my fault. But we can’t turn back time, can we?”

  


If time could be stopped, Han Jisung thought to himself, then he wished time would stop right then and there. With the stars shining in Minho’s eyes, with the moonlight reflecting off his cheekbones and making him look more _beautiful_ than handsome, Jisung really wished he could capture the moment. Even if everything was tinted with sadness and regret, it was still something. Most of all, it was Minho, finally letting his pride down and admitting things he would never have done when they were still in a relationship.

  


For some reason, satisfaction didn’t taste as sweet as Jisung thought it would.

  


“We can’t,” he finally said, voice cracking at the edges. The younger boy took a deep breath before he repeated the same words. “We can’t turn back time.”

  


Time really did stop then, with the way Minho turned towards him, eyes still shining but no longer because of the stars. He wasn’t sure what he expected to happen next, so Jisung just stood there, with the two of them staring at each other for the first time again in a long time. He’s known Minho for so long, been around him way too many times than he could count, but he swore he’s never seen Minho look so dejected before. 

  


He was the cause of such a look, Jisung realized, chest painfully tight. 

  


“The movie’s almost reaching a good part,” he said to try and lighten up the mood, turning back towards the balcony door and hoping that the other boy would follow without further discussion. He didn’t think he could take further discussion, despite how positive he had been since the start of the trip. Hyunjin was proving right once again after all. “They’re about to find Lorenzo and all that. Good for Claire, huh?”

  


“Doesn’t Sophie give herself a chance with Charlie?”

  


The question threw Jisung off-guard as he whipped around to find that Minho hasn’t move from his spot by the railings, his wide eyes still staring at the younger boy like his life depended on it. He had such an earnest look on his face that the witty remark Jisung was supposed to say, something about how sad that much have been for Victor, dies at the tip of his tongue. When was the last time he’s seen Minho look so small and scared? Nervous, even?

  


As if on cue, the answer appeared in his head: when Minho had confessed to him.

  


How long ago was that? They had only met a few months before, but they hit it off instantly. Everybody could tell that Jisung was instantly enamoured with the older male, while Minho had yet to integrate himself into their group of friends just yet. Despite how he had Hyunjin and how Minho was also close to Changbin and Felix, there were a lot of moments where it felt like it was just the two of them against the world; and that had been _before_ they got together. 

  


When Minho had confessed, it wasn’t something Jisung fully expected. He might have seen it coming just a little, mainly because Chan could never keep his mouth shut, but the way it happened was still a surprise. Confident, bold Minho was stuttering over his words for the first time in what seemed like forever, momentarily also confessing that Jisung had been the first person to ever really capture his heart and his attention.

  


Why did he have to remember that right now?

  


“She does,” he finally got around to saying after realizing he was standing there, staring at Minho like a fool in love, reminiscing over how they even started to become a _them_. Memories, Jisung reminded himself, that were long gone. So much for not opening up old wounds; then again, he had known that was a lie the moment he even invited Minho over. What was he even thinking back then? 

  


Without another word, Jisung finally stepped back inside the house and walked back towards the theatre room. 

  


He was right about returning right in the middle of the movie’s climax, at least. Woojin was still snoring, with Chan looking like he might follow suit soon after, but everybody else had their eyes on him when he returned to the room. They must have noticed that he and Minho were gone, which made sense. Even if things flowed well, it was only expected that their friends were still on the edge around the two of them.

  


Hyunjin in particular was _still_ giving him a look, despite how comfortable he looked snuggled in between Jeongin and Seungmin. 

  


“Well?” The other boy said.

  


“You’re right,” was all Jisung allowed himself to say before he settled back on his armchair. “Now shut up and watch the movie.”

  


Thankfully, his best friend complied, for once.

  


By the end of the night, all eight of them found a spot on the floor to sleep on. Even if everybody noticed that Minho didn’t return to the room, nobody commented on it for Jisung’s sake. The latter slotted himself next to Hyunjin and still managed to laugh when the brunette jokingly tried to push him away. Still, Hyunjin must have seen that Jisung desperately needed at least some form of comfort that night and allowed himself to be cuddled. 

  


Jisung woke up the next day to find that the rest of the boys, save for Jeongin and Seungmin, were still asleep. 

  


He headed to the door, but it was opened before he could reach for the doorknob.

  


Just his luck, Minho was standing right in front of him. 

  


“Good morning,” he slurred out sleepily. “Did you make coffee?”

  


The older boy handed him a cup of steaming hot coffee that he didn’t notice before. A small smile was on his face before he chuckled, “we all know you’re incoherent without caffeine.”

  


“I won’t deny a thing,” Jisung replied as he happily took a sip, momentarily forgetting everything that happened just the night before. The more caffeine he got in his system, the better his brain worked though, and soon he remembered _everything_. Including, unfortunately, the whole exchange he had with Minho on the balcony. He shifted awkwardly out of the room when he noticed that Minho was just standing there.

  


“Were you going inside?”

  


“No,” the older boy answered. “I was going to hand you your coffee, but you’re already here, so I’ll head back downstairs. Seungmin and Jeongin are trying to make pancakes.”

  


“They’ll burn the house down,” the blue-haired boy muttered, following behind Minho as they both descended to the kitchen. Sure enough, they were greeted by the two youngest fighting over who got to crack the eggs into the batter and just how much they needed. Seungmin insisted that he was right, but Jeongin was shoving his phone into the older boy’s face and claimed that the other boy couldn’t possibly be more accurate than the internet.

  


“Can’t we order food instead?” 

  


Both turn towards Jisung with a hurt look on their faces, so the older boy dropped his suggestion.

  


Next to him, Minho laughed, the sound resembling cool water on a hot summer’s day. It was always refreshing to hear the older boy laugh, Jisung mused to himself as he drank the last of his coffee. He was allowed to still like how the other laughed, right? Just yesterday he wanted to ignore that fact, but it was hard when all he wanted to do was listen to it over and over again. He liked how Hyunjin’s laugh sounded, too, he tried to reason with himself.

  


As he mentally battled with himself, he almost missed the way Minho shuffled closer.

  


“Jisung?”

  


“Yeah?” He replied, lips still on the edge of his mug.

  


“I was going to head back to Seoul later today,” Minho said, catching the younger boy by surprise. “I got a call that I have a job interview tomorrow, so I can’t stay over tonight.”

  


Was that really why? Jisung turned to the other boy and tried to read his expression, but he only saw a calm smile on the dark-haired boy’s pretty face. He was almost completely sure that he managed to make last night all weird, which meant Minho decided that being on the trip with Jisung and everybody else was a mistake after all. That would have been Jisung’s fault since he invited the other boy to begin with though, but then again, he saw how much Minho enjoyed being around the others.

  


It was probably just because of him, then.

  


“I know that look,” Minho suddenly said, rolling his eyes slightly. “Stop overthinking, I genuinely got a job offer. We’re okay, Jisung. We always have been.”

  


“Right,” Jisung finally managed to say, nodding. “Good luck with the interview then. You should tell Changbin before you leave.”

  


“I will.”

  


In the end, Minho decided to leave just a bit after everybody woke up. They all wished him luck and assured him that it was fine if he left early, along with promises to meet up again here and there. As Jisung stood there in the midst of everybody waving him off, he realized that if Minho did get a job soon, then seeing him would be harder than it had been. When would he see the other boy next? He had no other excuse to see him out of nowhere.

  


Before he could stop himself, Jisung found himself shouting out, “wait!”

  


All eyes turned to him, but he could care less as his eyes only met Minho’s. Immediately, the older boy’s gaze softened.

  


“It’s dangerous driving all the way back alone,” Jisung said with fake confidence, grinning teasingly as he added, “especially with your driving sense, Minho. I’ll come with.”

  


The surprised look on the older boy’s face doesn’t escape him, but that was fine, he was surprised with his own decisions as well. Nobody said anything against it as he raced back upstairs to fix his stuff, which were thankfully still mostly inside his carrier, so it didn’t take him a long time. He passed by Hyunjin on his way back down, who stopped him by the stairs with a hand on his wrist and a worried look on his features, although it was also one that was more understanding than anything else.

  


“Are you sure about this?” His best friend asked.

  


For once, Jisung realized he replied truthfully when he said yes.

  


“Let’s go,” he said, smiling happily at Minho, the scene similar to all the times they’ve gone on dates, with the older boy picking him up at his apartment door. He didn’t miss the way the other boys whispered behind him as he stepped out the door, following after the dark-haired boy. He’ll deal with them some other time. As he shut the door behind them, Minho promptly turned around to face him.

  


“I know I said we’re okay,” he began, eyebrows furrowing in confusion. “But really, Jisung? After last night?”

  


“Can we at least get inside the car before we have this talk?”

  


“Sure thing, princess,” Minho replied with a snicker, the nickname tacked at the end reminiscent of all the times he would jokingly say that Jisung had too many things he wanted done a particular way. It wasn’t exactly an insult, if anything, because the older boy knew that more than once he found himself catering to everything the other boy wanted anyway. Even if he may have fallen short near the end of their relationship. 

  


Jisung took note of the quip immediately, rolling his eyes as well as they entered the car.

  


“So, we’re in the car now.”

  


“And your phone password is still my birthday.”

  


The older boy had the gall to look nervous again, “you noticed.”

  


Push and pull. That’s always been their thing. It was frustrating, of course. It drove Jisung mad most of the time, but he couldn’t help but admit that he missed the feeling of bickering with Minho. It always turned out fine in the end, except when it hadn’t. He missed sitting next to the older boy in his secondhand car where it felt like nothing else around them mattered except for the two of them. In a weird way, he also missed how weak he was around the older boy.

  


Honestly, he knew the moment he saw Minho on the balcony last night that his resolve would crumble sooner than later.

  


“We can’t turn back time,” Jisung said, slowly. He caught the hurt look on the older boy’s face and quickly added, “can you let me finish first before you react like that?”

  


“Like what?”

  


“Like _that_ ,” the younger boy said pointedly, trying his best to copy the other boy’s puppy-dog eyed look. “As if I insulted your precious cats or something. Can I finish?”

  


Minho laughed, “alright, alright. You were saying?”

  


“We can’t turn back time,” he said again, suddenly feeling nervous at what he was about to say, but he knew he wasn’t going to regret it. “Because that would mean forgetting all that has happened so far. We both made mistakes, but we can both learn from it, I guess. Time doesn’t need to be turned back, but we can start again. That is, if you still want to, of course.”

  


Jisung ended his little blurb with an awkward chuckle, realizing that maybe Minho didn’t exactly want them back together, but he was pretty confident about what he felt between them last night.

  


“My phone password is still your birthday,” Minho replied, deadpan. “I think you know my answer to that.”

  


“Must be hard finding someone better than me, huh?” The younger boy couldn’t help but tease, grinning cockily at the older boy with all of his confidence back. 

  


“I didn’t really try,” Minho replied, laughing despite how sweet his words sounded because of the way Jisung suddenly blushed at the honest confession. He smiled sweetly at the younger boy, eyes shining bright with hope and renewed enthusiasm. He didn’t need the night sky to look like someone placed all the stars in his eyes, something Jisung always loved about him as well. Then again, the blue-haired boy loved a lot of things about Minho.

  


The drive back to the city was a weird one; push and pull, Jisung thought to himself once more, as they filled the car with both laughter and serious moments. They discussed their previous relationship, pointed out where things started going wrong and what could have made it right, whispered promises to each other and sweet nothings, almost as if they never parted. Things slotted back into place, but not exactly in the same way as before.

  


They were back at the start line, but at least they were running the race together.

**Author's Note:**

> writing while listening to 3racha is proving to be very very very effective for me
> 
> also if u also stan blue haired jisung [rt my tweet fam](https://twitter.com/stilljunhui/status/1130927046400458752)
> 
> (also, because im curious, if you happen to have a favourite part of this fic can u let me know? thank u ♡)
> 
> (twt / cc / ko-fi: @stilljunhui)


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